Lamplighter
by Ayatsuji
Summary: Should I fold a thousand cranes for you, Ren? — oh, I see.' :HaoRen


It's been a little while since I last posted something...school's eating my life and all that. This short story has been running through my head for about a week now, and I'll have to warn you of "characterization? What characterization?" Because that sums it up rather well. I don't know if you'll need tissues, maybe...maybe not...Let me know what you thought of it? (Please...please...I really hope I didn't ruin the song...) 

I dislike random one-shots floating around on my account. It clutters up the space. I might end up making this a one-shot series for whenever I have whimsicle little HaoRen ideas that pop into my head...but otherwise for now, it's status will be listed under "complete".

(x) **Date:** 2006.03.15 - 2005.03.016  
(x) **Author:** Kuroi

(x) **Summary:** Snapshots chronicalling the writing of a song, the lives of two boys as they grow up, and just where did the lyrics come from?  
(x) **Pairing:** Hao/Ren  
(x) **Warnings:** BL, OOC (character + mutilation characterization), double-angst?  
(x) Shaman King © Takei Hiroyuki  
(x) "Tóng Huà" (Faerie Tale) © Michael Wang

—NOTE— I absolutely adore this song. And this story...is not quite a song-fic. I don't really have anything substantial to say besides: "I hope I didn't ruin the song completely."

* * *

— F A E R I E . T A L E —

**—x—**

He was trying to write a song—the lyrics, the music...everything. Except that it wasn't playing correctly. Ren winced at the horrible chord combinations and sat up on the couch. Standing up, he walked over to the piano and reached over Hao's shoulder to play a few notes shortly.

It sounded better this time.

Hao tilted his head to look up at Ren and the Chinese boy smiled at him. He turned back to the piano as Ren moved away to flop back down on the couch, stretching his legs so his body spanned the two-seater easily. When Hao placed his fingers on the keys and began to play again, the music flowed and Ren crossed his arms beneath his head, settled down, and relaxed.

**—x—**

_They met in high school—a first year transfer student from China, Ren was considered cute and automatically adored by the female school population. Hao had been the resident student who was good at everything. Sports, academics, music...as a second year student, he was already considered the school's top student and had many privileges not granted to other students._

_As a first year student, Ren challenged that record. Fiercely competitive, Ren was Hao's likeness in every way except appearance and age. Their attitudes and egos fueled by the compliments given to them by the students and teachers, Ren jumped a year and proceeded to rival Hao in all areas of importance._

_They hated each other._

_Or, they did until Ren collapsed of unknown reasons during gym class and the teacher asked Hao to take the boy to the nurse's office. Ren claimed he was fine after he awoke, but Hao remained unnaturally concerned for his rival for quite some time afterwards. Their relationship wasn't quite the same after that day, and although their fierce rivalry remained unchanged, Hao began to hang out around the transfer student that had turned his entire high school life around._

_They grew on each other. Not ones to care for other people—Hao thought he was above everyone and Ren thought everyone was below him—the only company they could stand was each other's. Their friendship worked on a system of favors that would escalate until the favors included saving each other's lives._

_When Ren collapsed again in their third year, Hao took him to the hospital._

_"You have Acute Myelogenic Leukemia," the doctor had said. "A strand of leukemia more often found in teenagers and adults. If you had had come to me any later, you would probably be dead. At this stage, though, you can undergo chemotherapy and have a sixty to seventy percent chance of remission." Ren had nodded seriously and signed the papers needed for the procedure and Hao could say nothing. Ren underwent chemotherapy and Hao was there for him when he came out. The doctors thought he might make a full recovery and Ren returned to school._

_He graduated with Hao as one of the top students in the school._

_And life continued._

**—x—**_  
_

_ "What...are you doing here?" Ren asked slowly from the doorway of his dorm room at the University of Tokyo. His roommate had already unpacked and was lying on his back on the twin bed closer to the wall._

_Hao sat up in a smooth movement and grinned over at Ren. "We're roommates, Ren," he announced happily, "Won't this be fun?"_

_"Brilliant," replied Ren with a similar expression on his face as he closed the door behind him, and tossed his luggage on the spare bed. He flopped down next to Hao and smirked slightly as Hao grunted at the lack of space—if Ren hadn't had such a small frame, the bed most definitely would not have held them both. "This is comfortable," Ren commented idly as he pressed closer to the older boy and closed his eyes contently._

_Smiling, Hao turned over on his side and flung an arm around Ren's waist. "Yeah," he murmured, "yeah it is."_

**—x—**_  
_

_ Ren graduated from Tokyo University with a degree in engineering while Hao graduated with a degree in the medical sciences. But Hao never cared for hospitals after Ren's diagnosis and never pursued a career in medicine. Instead, he turned to his other love in life._

_Music._

_"You're going to make your career...as a singer?" Ren asked incredulously as Hao waved the movers around and watched closely as they lowered the newly bought Yamaha™ piano to a corner of the apartment room._

_Hao nodded and gestured for the movers to place the piano down carefully on the carpeted area. "Yeah," he replied after they had done so, "but I'll be a concert pianist as well."_

_Ren was skeptical, but shrugged in acceptance anyway. Hao had always had an excellent voice—he thought maybe the other man really could succeed in such a career. He was willing to stand by in case Hao needed assistance, after all, he was already footing the apartment bills for the two of them (having grown closer over the years, the two decided to move on after graduating from university and then proceeded to do just that.)_

_"You'll write me a song, won't you?" Ren asked later after they were both settled in and the movers had left._

_"Of course."_

**—x—**

"This is where you'll perform, Hao. Aren't you excited?" Ren's eyes reflected excitement and Hao thought Ren seemed even more excited about the upcoming performance that he was.

"What are you so excited for?" Hao asked with a grin, watching as Ren spun around slightly and ran his fingers over the piano's body. "I'm the one who's going to have to perform!"

The Chinese man smiled and sat down on the piano seat, placed his fingers on the keys and leaned back to look at Hao cheerfully. "You've practiced so long and worked so hard—I know everyone will love this one."

Hao smiled and reached over Ren's shoulders to place his hands on top of the smaller man's, pressing down so Ren's fingers began to play. "Thank you, Ren," he said, "for helping me all this time."

Ren shrugged and slipped off the seat. He stood up again beside the piano and gestured to the chair. "Sit down, Hao," he reached over to push Hao down onto the seat and quickly leaned forward to kiss Hao lightly, "Play your piece and sing for me...here in this large auditorium. I want to hear what it'll sound like at the concert."

Nodding, Hao turned away from Ren and began to play. The opening phrases played on the piano and then Hao began to sing. "_I've forgotten how long it's been...Since—_"

The sound of Ren's body crumpling to the floor cut Hao off mid-note.

He didn't care, though.

He couldn't remember when he had last felt so panicked and lost as to what to do.

**—x—**

_"My favorite story is a story with a happy ending," Ren said, flipping through a Chinese translated copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales._

_Hao laughed shortly and pulled the book from Ren's hand, "Then why are you reading Grimm? Most of their fairy tales don't exactly have happy endings."_

_"I like to make up my own endings," Ren replied, retrieving the book and placing it down gently on the table. He turned back to Hao and reached up to touch a finger to Hao's cheek. "Like an angel...angels make everything better."_

_A hand reached up to rest on Ren's and Hao closed his eyes, leaning into Ren's touch. They stood like that for a while, before he pulled away and walked over to the bookshelf. Running his fingers down the spines of the many books, he pulled one out and walked back to Ren. Handing the book to the other man, Hao smiled and said, "Tell me your favorite."_

_The collection was Anderson's Fairy Tales._

_"The Snow Queen," Ren said smiling, opening the book to a random page and sitting down where he stood._

**—x—**_  
_

_ "I love you," Hao said one day when Ren came home from work and the younger man was speechless. Reaching out to place a finger under Ren's chin, he closed Ren's gaping mouth and smiled sadly. "I love you," he said again, and then apologized._

_Ren shook his head in disbelief and dropped his briefcase on the floor. "Hao...this isn't funny," he said seriously, looking up into onyx eyes that told him nothing of what lay within the other's mind._

_"I wasn't joking," Hao replied, equally as serious as Ren was. "I really do..."_

_He shook his head again and turned away from Hao, his bangs covering his eyes. Ren was visibly upset and Hao reached out to place a hand on the other man's shoulder. He flinched when Ren shrugged the hand off and said, "You're lying," before wrenching open the front door and running out again._

_Hao sighed slightly and sat down to wait for Ren to return._

**—x—**_  
_

_ "Faerie tales only deceive people."_

_"Why is that?"_

_"There's no such thing as 'happily ever after'."_

_Hao didn't have a response to that, so he settled for wrapping his arms around Ren's shaking body and pulling the smaller figure close. They sat there for a while, sitting on the carpet floor just doing nothing but holding each other. The silence was comforting, and Ren eventually calmed down._

_"Are you feeling better, now?"_

_Ren smiled ruefully into Hao's shirt and clenched his fingers around the folds. "I hate faerie tales..." he murmured almost inaudibly—Hao had to strain his ears to make out the words. "My angel wasn't supposed to be you..." _

_All Hao could say to that was: "I'm sorry."_

**—x—**

Hao decided he hated the color white, after he was forced to stare at the starch, blank lack of pigment for an extended amount of time. Hospital walls, hospital gowns, the bed sheets, the gloves...Everything in a hospital is white. He had hoped he would never have to look at the horrid white plaster of the hospital walls again but—

He thought the color looked horrible on Ren. Swathed in white sheets with IVs stuck in his arms, Ren's already pale complexion only looked paler.

"He's relapsed, Asakura-san," said the doctor when he walked in the door. Hao took a seat next to Ren and couldn't find it in him to even force a smile when Ren's eyelids cracked open to look at him. "When Ren was here for chemotherapy a few years ago, we thought he would recover completely...you say he just collapsed?"

He nodded shortly, and held Ren's hand gently when the man smiled at him weakly and tried to reach out for him. "Leukemia, huh?" Hao murmured, chuckling at the irony. "Right before the concert you wanted to hear...should I fold a thousand cranes for you, Ren?"

Ren smiled at him and he thought it wasn't fair that Ren had to pretend to be okay when it was so obvious he wasn't. "Stupid," the Chinese man croaked out, squeezing Hao's hand weakly—the strength Ren had managed to bulid up over the years even in his condition was lost so quickly, Hao noted sadly. "Don't waste your time on cranes..."

He was able to half-grin at that—at least Ren still had his attitude. "Folding a thousand cranes for you wouldn't have been a waste of time, Ren," he said, leaning forward to rest his cheek against Ren's. "Forget about the concert, I'll stay here with you until you're better."

"Don't be an idiot, Hao," Ren said hoarsely, "Go now. I'll be fine on my own—it's not like I can go anywhere. I'm stuck on this hospital bed."

Hao was silent before he nodded slowly and reached into his pocket to take out his cell phone. He pressed it into Ren's weak hands and wasn't sure Ren would even be able to hold it steadily. Ren smiled at him, and Hao couldn't look anymore.

He rushed out of the hospital room, but remembered to shut the door gently behind him.

He wished he could shut out the sounds and images as easily.

**—x—**

_"Thank you, Hao."_

_"For what?"_

_Ren smiled and wrapped his arms around the older man's neck, resting his cheek against Hao's chest. "For never giving up on me," he murmured._

_Hao only embraced him tightly, and buried his face in his hair. "I'll never give up on you, Ren," Hao said quietly, his breath lightly blowing a few strands of Ren's hair. "I..."_

_"I love you," said Ren pulling away from Hao's embrace. He looked up at Hao steadily before he blinked and a shaky smile came to his lips. He repeated the words again, and this time, stood on his toes to place a shy kiss on the older man's lips._

_"We'll write our ending together." _

**—x—**

Hao walked on stage to thunderous applause and he bowed lowly to his audience. He straightened again as the applause died away and walked in soft, even steps towards the grand piano set up just for this concert.

Before sitting down at the instrument, Hao reached into his pocket and pulled out another cell phone—Ren's phone—and dialed a number before gently placing the phone beside the keyboard.

The auditorium was silent as he placed his fingers on the keys and began to play. "_I can't remember how long it's been...since I last heard your voice telling me your favorite story..._"

Lying still on the hospital bed amid the beeps and drips of the medical equipment surrounding him, Ren pressed the phone close to his ear and stared out the window at the leaves that were falling from the trees. Behind the breathing mask he was forced to wear, Ren's mouth moved even though no sound was produced.

"_I'm willing to become the angel that you love..._"

Hao was singing in Chinese—in Ren's own language. A concert in Japan with an opening song sung in Chinese.

"_You have to believe that we'll be like the ones in the faerie tale..._"

It really was Ren's song in every way.

As the song came to a close and Hao lifted his hands from the keys, Ren moved the phone away from his ears and let his hand fall limp. His breath fogged the breathing mask and he smiled as his eyes slowly fell shut.

—

And maybe...

Maybe there is such a thing as "happily ever after."

**—x—**

_ I've forgotten how long it's been  
Since I've last heard your voice  
Telling me your favorite story_

_I've thought for a long time  
I'm starting to forget  
If maybe I  
Made some mistake_

_You cried and told me  
Faerie tales only deceive people  
I couldn't possibly be your prince_

_Maybe you won't understand  
From when you told me you loved me  
My sky lit up with stars_

_I'm willing to become  
The angel that you love  
In the faerie tale  
Open both arms  
And like wings, protect you_

_You have to believe  
That we will be like  
The ones in the faerie tale  
And live happily ever after_

_You cried and told me  
Faerie tales only deceive people  
I couldn't possibly be your prince_

_Maybe you won't understand  
From when you told me you loved me  
My sky lit up with stars_

_I'm willing to become  
The angel that you love  
In the faerie tale  
Open both arms  
And like wings, protect you_

_You have to believe  
That we will be like  
The ones in the faerie tale  
And live happily ever after_

_I want to become  
The angel that you love  
In the faerie tale  
Open both arms  
And like wings, protect you_

_You have to believe  
That we will be like  
The ones in the faerie tale  
And live happily ever after_

_I will become  
The angel that you love  
In the faerie tale  
Open both arms  
And like wings, protect you_

_You have to believe  
That we will be like  
The ones in the faerie tale  
And live happily ever after_

_Oh— ooh—_

_We'll write our ending together_

— Tóng Huà (Faerie Tale) - Michael Wong

**—x—**

**_owari_**

* * *

Yeah, guess what song I've been obsessed with for a bit too long. But it's so pretty...I love his voice (he's got this huge Asian fanclub, seriously.) and his lyrics always make sense and are clear without sounding spoken...and just...Eee—! I know, I know, the characterization is _horrible_. In fact, let me put it this way: _what_ characterization? I pretty much just snatched Hao and Ren and put them through this thing. This shot is, in fact, based on the music video that Michael starred in specifically for this song—it was kind of sad, it made me cry. I just...expanded on it, a little. (Michael's girlfriend is really pretty, actually. _Really, really, really_ pretty.) 

**—Lyrics Translations—** I translated the lyrics myself (with check and assistance in some areas from my good friend, Ariel.) That, of course, means there might be some issues. First of all, I took the liberty of rewriting a few of the lines so that they sound more normaly in English. The line-by-line literal translations are rather awkward in some areas although it makes perfect sense in Chinese.  
—"I'm willing to become the angel that you love in the faerie tale."— (我願變成童話裡 你愛的那個天使) Literally, it translates to something more like "I'm willing to become the faerie tale's angel that you love." But that sounds really awkward, so I rearranged it slightly in order for it to make more sense.  
—"Open both arms and like wings, protect you."— (張開雙手 變成翅膀守護你) Instead of being "and like wings, protect you" it would be more literally translated into "become wings to protect you" but...well. Like I said, that sounds...kind of awkward, doesn't it?  
—"And live happily ever after."— (辛福和快樂是結局) I translated this to the more...fitting "happily ever after" because literally, this line translates to: "luck and happy is our ending." It sounds...interesting in English but translates more fluently into "happily ever after", which is what I used.

...I just totally ruined that song, didn't I?


End file.
